Fujoing Outtt

MIA for a month (not that I think anybody would notice LMAO) was traveling for most of August with my sister! Still recovering from her leaving, unreasonably devastated actually you'd think I am never going to speak with her again (I called her this past weekend). Just really stewing in the fact that all my loved ones are on a different continent and their lives go on without me in them. I miss my mom and my sister and my two best friends. I want to go home but if I have to move back in with my father I will kms.

So I have been coping crazy style with deltarune yaoi... My sister is the bigger deltarune fan but we both have kept up with it since it first released (I was always more of a homestuck guy) and she had been on my ass for me to play the new chapters since they released. What a surprise! It was a ton of fun! I've even gone back to replay it to do the roaring knight fight but of course... I really just wanted more time in TV world I love TV!!! Mr Ant Tenna is my favorite...and my sister had always been a spamton fan so it didn't take much for me to warm up to the guy I guess. Now I'm in a frenzy of drawing and whatever other creative endeavors grab my attention, made some shrinky dink tennas over the weekend, putting together a paper craft tenna after work, thinking about getting into sewing to make a plush tenna, I want to animate which I haven't done in years we will see what I can actually focus on...

Also I watched Saturday Night Fever for the first time, I enjoyed it just wasn't prepared for the amount of slurs

Peaceful

Tried to go out the last few days... Too much computer time takes a toll on my weak wrists. Continuing to work on my MCR page; looking forward to their back to back shows in LA this weekend! My sister has a friend going so hopefully will get my hands on whatever exclusive t shirt they'll have.

Pretty slow day; went to the bakery, got supplies to repaint a bookshelf, a coworker came over for a bit. My cherry tomato plants are getting so tall! And I got some new CDs in the mail :-) $7 in total I'm so excited to own Relationship of Command, one of my all time favorites.

CRAZED

GOING WILD WATCHING A LIVESTREAM OF THE MCR CONCERT IN SF TONIGHT; BEST BAND IN THE WORLD!!!!!!!! The differences between this and the first show, its all so exciting!!! So far there have been stock wolf howls, the forced ad read, the CHANT before Mama UGH! And we're still only in the first half! Can't wait to see what they play after The Black Parade.

Been slowly cleaning my apartment these last two days, it's always fun to see all the stuff I have :-) Here are some of my toys.

Didn't have lunch today, think I'll go out for an early-ish dinner tonight.

lust 4 life

BEER!!!!!!!! Just cause I have no friends to drink w/ shouldn't mean I don't get to drink at all :-) Mailed out gifts for friends aned had a nice dinner! OH and I staked my cherry tomato plants, theyre so big now! Went out for sushi now I'm just hanging out in my room; think tomorrow I'll clean up! 妹が㋇に来ます！楽しみ！Can only hope for the best :-) It'll be really nice to see her I haven't seen anyone I love since Christmas.

Not talking to the guy I have a big fat crush on cause I feel like I sound like a moron when I talk to her. Like idk man. Shouldn't be a matter of convincing someone to love me. Want her though.

Tomorrow's a new day! And I'm off work for like a month YAY

alright!

Actually at work right now working on this... All hopped on html juice rn what's going on... Mostly feeling good and happy besides the random pangs of dread and anxiety not sure where those are coming from! Sometimes I do feel a little like my life is going no where and that's terrifying but! Life isn't that bad! I could be living at home with my shit ass dad!

I guess it's also the general state of things stressing me out, horrible things are happening in the world everyday and I worry that I'm not worried enough... But I am worried. I don't know. At least it's almost the weekend.

I have been feeling kinda like a loser, no prospects of any kind. Like who want me? Three years celibacy is starting to get BORING!!! Unfortunately I don't know if I'm fit for consumption, did anything about how to improve my relationships with other people? I'm aware of my problems but even in infatuation I see those nasty habits show up and I don't know how to handle it. Whatever not like it matters, what am I gonna do? Go out and meet people? Rather watch my girlfriend Gerard Way shake ass over a shitty concert stream this weekend.